Posts Tagged ‘crazy little thing called love’

  • Under the Weather

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    Side effects.

    We’ve all had ‘em. You start a new drug or maybe a diet and BAM! – all of a sudden you’re dizzy or hungry or tired or have the ability to levitate. Ok, I haven’t seen any evidence of the last one but I don’t want to limit the discussion.

    The problem is, no one really likes side effects (although if the levitation is available, I’m interested). They’re the unexpected, and generally unwanted, elements that come from trying to get something you DO want. You want to get rid of migraines and you end up with insomnia. Or you want to be able to meet a nice a guy who actually cares about you – BAM! – side effects.

    See there are side effects to more than just medications. Side effects are EVERYWHERE. All the things we do and decisions we make come with these stupid side effects. You could get all deep and metaphorical and call them the building blocks of destiny or some crap, but in the end the definition from above still stands: they’re the unexpected, and generally unwanted elements that come from trying to get something you do want.

    Now, I don’t have statistics on this, but I suspect a lot of what we do is deal with the side effects that come from our decisions. So the desire to drink heavily and start smoking may, for example, be side effects of a tough decision. Not talking to your friends and ignoring school could be considered destructive tendencies in the aftermath of a big change in your life. The problem with this is that these side effects have their own side effects, and I’m not just talking about the nausea after a night of hard alcoholism. It’s a chain reaction that leads to, well, the rest of your life. Pardon the almost unbearable poetry of it but don’t the side effects kind of become your life? They build all the potential options of your future. The chances you find to meet new guys; the people you spend time with who become new or better friends; the ideas you have that change your goals and, ultimately, your destiny.

    Now, in case anyone actually reads this let me say 1. that these examples are examples and by no means should we freak out and assume that I have started smoking or am dropping out of school.
    Also b. I wrote this in poor form: sick and feeling slightly delirious. And, Π. I just got into destiny in a blog post so really – take it all with a grain of sand.

    But I think what I’m saying is that side effects, unwanted or not, are really very important.

    Without side effects we’d just have what we want – BAM! – without any of the trouble or consequences it took to get there. Side effects are the things that make you look at what you thought you wanted and consider its value. The sadness, anger, sleeplessness, and inappropriate buying of shoes: are they all worth the decision you made? Or would you have bought expensive shoes anyway? Will your side effects lead you to something better or just regrets? Won’t it make the outcome sweeter because it was hard to get there?

    I think all we can do is be honest – with ourselves and each other – and deal with those side effects as they come. And, uh, they do tend to make life pretty interesting, don’t they?

  • National Pride

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    On a snowy morning in April, my Canadian-born mother and American-born father struggled through the final hours of labor. At 7:35am on April 5th, I was born in a small apartment in Belleville, a suburb of Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

    For five years my family moved: in and out of three Canadian cities and two provinces, until finally, shortly before I entered kindergarten, my father was offered a transfer. My dad was an employee of the Toronto-based Northern Telecom (later known as Nortel) and he and my mom jumped at the opportunity to try a warmer climate and better cost of living. We moved to Nashville, Tennessee. I have not lived in Canada since then, though I still have family there (grandparents, numerous aunts, uncles and cousins) and I travel there at least once a year.

    The last week or so has had me thinking about being Canadian – the Olympics are going on in Vancouver so the spotlight has truly landed on Canada and has lingered in a way it rarely does. Certain circumstances: the death of a Georgian luger, flaws in the opening ceremonies and Vancouver weather and the Canadian hockey loss to the US, have inspired some frustration. Of course I am American; I know I live here. But I’m also Canadian and these Olympics have made me defensive of Canada. It’s unbelievably frustrating to hear the running commentary, the jokes (even those made with good intentions add up) and the criticism, and to feel like you’re the only one around to defend your team.

    Because they ARE my team. I am Canadian. I have friends who tell me I’m not Canadian all the time and it drives me nuts. I know I don’t live there. I’m a wimp; I’d probably cry if I had to do a whole winter there. But I can vote there, I can own property there, I have lived there and I have a lot of people I love who live there. I know all the words to the Canadian anthem and I tear up for it the same as I do for the Star-Spangled Banner. There are parts of Canada that are as much home to me as anything on American soil. I feel better when I’m in Canada, as soon as I cross the border. And I want to see Canada win the gold medal for hockey so badly it hurts.

    I know Canada has flaws – I hate their system of government, they’re practically socialist, they’ve got that French sliver in the middle and I’m not even going to bring up the weather. But I could write a book about what’s wrong with the US, too.

    Canadian relatives have told me of their frustration with us Americans. We’re cocky and entitled, rash and bossy. And usually I feel bad- caught in the middle of two sides I love. Well this week, at least until the closing ceremonies, I’m all Canadian. I’m going to continue to be angry when NBC calls the US v. Canada hockey game a “clobbering” (it was 5-3!!!), I’m going to pray for some snow for Vancouver and I’m going to cheer for the Canadians to “own the podium“, even at the expense of the US. It’s Canada’s day and it’s been a pretty crummy one so far. Canada has been an ally, partner, defender and supporter of the US for hundreds of years. I’d really like to see the US appreciate them, or at least call a moratorium on the jokes for five minutes.

    Thanks.

  • Fall Frolicking

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    Well, I still feel bad about having dropped my class but there’s no doubt in my mind that was the solution for me. Things have been much easier without a class to worry about, although I do still owe my professor a project from the Spring. But I am good at procrastinating and having flexibility does wonders for my mood– so much less stress! Really makes me not want to go back to grad school, too…

    The last few nights I’ve just been home, doing laundry and watching TV. Sure, I still work from home, check email, update Drupal etc., but it’s easier now that I don’t get home at 8:00pm twice a week.

    Tonight I got to baby-sit my niece, Jenny, which would have been nearly impossible when taking classes. I’m not sure she had a great time but we’ll give it another shot post-teething and on a night when she’s in a better mood.
    Tomorrow night I’m considering getting a cheap ticket to the NCSU v. Florida St. football game, blowing off work early and tailgating with friends.
    Friday night is improv. Saturday, a wedding (Congrats Amy and Garrison!). Next week: meteor shower, haunted trail, pumpkin carving and Halloween Party. I love fall.

    In other news, I got a Mac! Well, work got a Mac and they let me use it; I could never have afforded it myself. I am a visual person so, well… it didn’t take long to impress me. I’m not saying I’m a Mac person yet (I don’t want to be that) but I would say I’m a little more evenly divided on the issue. And someone asked me the other day if it was hard to go back and forth (PC desktop at work, Mac laptop) and I realized I hadn’t even thought about it.

    Finally, I may not be a Mac user but I do want an iPhone. That thing is hot. H-O-T. I spent last Friday night sitting on my couch, watching a 30-minute iPhone informational video. I’m dating the iPhone. Sad.

    That’s it for me. Enjoy the leaves and the crisp fall breezes. Go Canes!

  • The Brain Bone is connected to the Mouth Bone

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    I have lost the ability to communicate recently. It may have been going for sometime now but it’s reached epically bad proportions recently.

    Have you ever been thinking one thing but your mouth says something else? Today, while walking to get coffee with the new web guy (who will hopefully make my work life much easier) we were talking about my new TV and the possibility of TiVo etc. I was thinking:

    “I got DVR the second it came out, back when it was the dirty little secret of cable. I love my DVR!”.

    … but what I said was (oh god. So mortifying)…

    “I love you”.

    Naturally I just kept talking. I briefly tried to clarify my love for the DVR rather than him but mostly I tried to gloss over my apparent attempt at sexual harassment 30 minutes after he showed up for his first day of work. Oh, the humiliation.

    This is not the only example. At trivia I wrote down ‘Siskel and Egbert’ (rather than ‘Ebert”), and I thought Michael Jackson’s kids’ godfather was Marlon Brando (FYI, it’s Macaulay Caulkin and isn’t Brando everyone’s godfather?). I also recently referenced the movie “Harold and Kumar go to Washington”. I’m not sure what’s worse: messing up the title of a classic, iconic movie or the fact that now Mr. Smith apparently has to go to White Castle.

    Keep your fingers crossed that this is a phase and it passes quickly– I say stupid enough stuff normally. None of you want me calling you for bail money after I say “Thank you for my ticket, Mr. Occifer!”. Now that I have a big, pretty TV I can’t bail myself out anymore! (my god, I sound blonde, don’t I?).

  • Random Updates

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    Progress Energy
    Apparently I wasn’t the only one with power problems in my area. Progress Energy came out and tore up the cables for everyone in my row of townhouses and then kindly put down grass seed in the area where I’d just finished killing the grass. On the plus side, my power hasn’t flickered in the slightest since then so (knock on wood) I think things might be fixed!

    Bedroom Set
    It’s GORGEOUS! The biggest problem now is that I don’t want to get up in the morning because it’s so pretty and comfy! Yeah!

    Valentine’s Day & Weight Watchers
    It took me a couple days to get over it this year. My ability to ignore it was tested by several obstacles. My roommate got flowers and enjoyed her time with the boyfriend; I went to a Valentine’s Day party with six couples (including an ex) and… me- lucky number 13; and my Weight Watchers meeting cheered me right up with the news I lost a whopping – wait for it – .6lbs.
    In fact, I’ve lost in total only about 8lbs in the 6 weeks I’ve been doing WW. I think in part that’s because I’ve been going to the gym so much; I know some of this is muscle. But WW doesn’t account for that and it certainly didn’t cheer me up on the 14th. Hence the very mopey post. The only defense I can offer is, as sad and bitter as that post sounded, I was WAY more sad and bitter in real life.

    But we’re past it. Another year until V-Day comes again. I wonder if I’ll still be single… ;)

  • Be mine!

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    Oh good it’s that Hallmark-hyped holiday again. Sweet Valentine’s Day, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways…

    1. Months of candy and hearts to remind us the day is coming
    2. The mass of crappy romantic movies on every channel for the entire week
    3. The kind inquiries by friends who suddenly remember you’re single
    4. The rude inquiries by creepy people who suddenly remember you’re single
    5. The wondering if you’ll still be single this time next year

    I could keep going but you might think I’m bitter and depressed so I won’t. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.

  • Back in the saddle? What’s a saddle?

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    Why don’t guys make the first move anymore? It may just be me, but it seems like an awful lot of hints- or more than hints- have to be dropped before anything happens. There used to be a mandate on these things. If it wasn’t a “Sadie Hawkins” thing (and who the hell was she to rock the boat anyway?) then the guy always did the asking.

    Maybe I’m traditional, or maybe I just have a vibe that says “don’t ask me out” but things seem really difficult these days. My roommate, let’s call her Emily, has just broken up with her boyfriend a month ago and already she’s found several candidates. Meanwhile it’s the Sahara for me, and has been for a depressingly (going on alarmingly) long time. Maybe there’s truth to the idea that if you’re attractive to one guy, you’re suddenly attractive to many. Emily’s just lost a guy, but it was recent, and she still knows how to flirt. The stench of a guy has long since rubbed off me and I don’t even know how to bat my eyelashes without looking like I have something in my eye. How do you get back on the horse when you don’t know how to ride? That sounded kind of dirty. Or maybe it’s just me because I’m so damn desperate.

    Huh.

    Gross.

  • Don’t drink and blog

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    Yes. You really should not drink and blog. But you can edit your posts. Which makes it almost ok.

  • Movie Love

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    In honor of Valentine’s Day I thought I’d ignore the twelve steps and take a moment to discuss love in movies. Movies are largely responsible for our idea of what love should be, despite the fact that they’re rarely accurate to real life. The best example I’ve thus far seen is what I call the “end of movie coupledom moment”.

    Have you ever noticed that at the end of these romantic movies the couples seem to always end up in the middle of a city, kissing passionately in some public place? It’s almost always outside and everyone stops to smile at them or has to walk around them. I’m not making this up- I can list dozens of movies that work on some variation of this as a last scene. Sabrina – in Paris, Breakfast at Tiffany’s – in the rain with a cat, You’ve Got Mail – in a park with a dog, Two Weeks Notice – on a street corner, Just Like Heaven – on a roof top. In fact, the movie Someone Like You went so far as to have two endings: one on a street corner and an alternate one on a rooftop.

    Since this is apparently the way love is supposed to go, and since I have neither a boy to kiss nor an appropriate open-air, public spot to do it, I’ll instead be sitting on my couch, watching sappy movies and counting down the remaining days of my feminine desirability. I’m not really that broken up about about it- just righteously indignant at the mis-representation. In 48 hours Valentines Day will be over and I won’t need an outlet for my annoyance.

  • I’d rather be single than settle

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    An excerpt from a book by Jen Schefft ‘Better Single that Sorry’ explains perfectly how I feel about being single. Absolutely perfectly.
    Readers of this blog hear me complain, a lot, about being single, but this is where I come to do that complaining. I truly enjoy the lack of accountability, freedom and simplicity of being single. Almost all the time.

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