Archive for January, 2011

  • All-Star City

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    I am very proud of my city.

    Raleigh, NC hosted the NHL All-Star game (and associated a activities) this weekend and it was fantastic. I don’t know how the experience was for an outsider visiting or watching at home but from my perspective Raleigh was a wonderful host, threw some great parties, offered up some beautiful weather and just generally impressed.

    A few high points:

    The downtown convention center immediately following the Fantasy Draft

    RBC Center

    My pretty stadium

    Inside at the Skillz Competition (fastest skater).

    My nephew wants to go meet the Sedin brothers and two other All-Stars enjoying some Starbucks. Saw them Sunday morning at North Hills.

     

  • Under the Weather

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    Side effects.

    We’ve all had ‘em. You start a new drug or maybe a diet and BAM! – all of a sudden you’re dizzy or hungry or tired or have the ability to levitate. Ok, I haven’t seen any evidence of the last one but I don’t want to limit the discussion.

    The problem is, no one really likes side effects (although if the levitation is available, I’m interested). They’re the unexpected, and generally unwanted, elements that come from trying to get something you DO want. You want to get rid of migraines and you end up with insomnia. Or you want to be able to meet a nice a guy who actually cares about you – BAM! – side effects.

    See there are side effects to more than just medications. Side effects are EVERYWHERE. All the things we do and decisions we make come with these stupid side effects. You could get all deep and metaphorical and call them the building blocks of destiny or some crap, but in the end the definition from above still stands: they’re the unexpected, and generally unwanted elements that come from trying to get something you do want.

    Now, I don’t have statistics on this, but I suspect a lot of what we do is deal with the side effects that come from our decisions. So the desire to drink heavily and start smoking may, for example, be side effects of a tough decision. Not talking to your friends and ignoring school could be considered destructive tendencies in the aftermath of a big change in your life. The problem with this is that these side effects have their own side effects, and I’m not just talking about the nausea after a night of hard alcoholism. It’s a chain reaction that leads to, well, the rest of your life. Pardon the almost unbearable poetry of it but don’t the side effects kind of become your life? They build all the potential options of your future. The chances you find to meet new guys; the people you spend time with who become new or better friends; the ideas you have that change your goals and, ultimately, your destiny.

    Now, in case anyone actually reads this let me say 1. that these examples are examples and by no means should we freak out and assume that I have started smoking or am dropping out of school.
    Also b. I wrote this in poor form: sick and feeling slightly delirious. And, Π. I just got into destiny in a blog post so really – take it all with a grain of sand.

    But I think what I’m saying is that side effects, unwanted or not, are really very important.

    Without side effects we’d just have what we want – BAM! – without any of the trouble or consequences it took to get there. Side effects are the things that make you look at what you thought you wanted and consider its value. The sadness, anger, sleeplessness, and inappropriate buying of shoes: are they all worth the decision you made? Or would you have bought expensive shoes anyway? Will your side effects lead you to something better or just regrets? Won’t it make the outcome sweeter because it was hard to get there?

    I think all we can do is be honest – with ourselves and each other – and deal with those side effects as they come. And, uh, they do tend to make life pretty interesting, don’t they?

  • Welcome, 2011

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    Had a really fantastic Christmas and New Year. While they haven’t lacked for stress and drama, the last two weeks have been informative – transitional – as the time around the new year often is.

    There are three relationships that got some consideration over the last couple weeks. Despite the fact that I have a blog and occasionally expound upon my feelings at length I’m generally pretty uncomfortable doing so publicly. But I feel the need to make a few comments here and now – for posterity, I suppose.

    The first relationship is with work – with my job, office, whatever you wanna call it. It’s not in great shape and I’m really going to have to take some time over the next year to figure that out. Hopefully things will look better with time and if nothing else I’ll have finished my grad degree in the next year. It is sobering, after dealing with the stress of the last few weeks of work to realize that this stuff – stressful though it may be – doesn’t mean nearly as much as the other two relationships. That helps to put this issue at least, into perspective.

    The second is with my cousin. We had somewhat of a falling out over the holiday. I understand her perspective and naturally, I understand my own. I need to talk to her but I also need to give that some time – for both of us, I think. I’m sad and a little worried about it but I’m confident that with a little time and discussion all will be resolved. Hey, we’re family. I love her and she knows it.

    The third, I will leave vague and say only that relationships can be a terrible, stupid, mess of complexity. And they can also be fantastic. It’s even possible for them to be both at the same time. I’m giving up on someone that is very important to me because I know it’s for the best but it doesn’t make it feel good. And I know it won’t feel good for awhile.

    Despite what sounds like a sad and pathetic blog post I’m really doing ok. Sure, I had other plans for this week- hell, for this year – but you make do with what you have in life and the people you’ve got. There’s a lot of good things on the horizon and I’m really excited to see what’s to come in 2011. I have high hopes. Bring it on.